Andrew was born at the Health Science Centre on May 10th, 1983. He was my 1st of two boys. His brother Robert came 15 months later. Andrew was a cute, cuddly 7lb.14oz. red haired bundle of joy, that quickly made himself known to the world by pretty much never sleeping as a baby and demanding attention, however, he walked very early at around 7 1/2 months and just as quickly became very independent. He would entertain himself for hours with his lego blocks and soon showed his talent in art, which he continued on with well into his teens.

He attended Royal Elementary School in Charleswood, K through 6, with some kind of award or certificate of excellence every year. He was at his happiest there. He became a school crossing guard. Andrew’s great grandfather (His name sake) had been a motorcycle police officer and had apparently started the school crossing guard program many years earlier, so Andrew was very proud to do this.

His brother Robert and him were inseparable all through these years. They shared a room by choice and bunk beds where really only one was necessary. They also had a little indoor play pup tent that they had received from their uncle for Christmas one year and Andrew continued to sleep in it for the better part of a year, every night.

We moved from Charleswood in May of 1995 to Cooks Creek, Manitoba, just north east of Oakbank, close to Birds Hill Park. We thought this would be a good time to move for the kids, as Andrew would have been moving on to middle school and Robert would follow just one year later. Andrew hated moving away from the home he grew up in and all his friends, however, he did make friends quickly and continued to do very well in school. He graduated from Springfield Collegiate with high marks and honours through many of the grades.

However, we started to notice a dark cloud coming over Andrew around 14 to 16 years of age. He became very negative about everything, which was so unlike him as a young boy and he kept to himself a lot. Andrew and Robert drifted apart over nothing in particular, just Andrew’s mood change. He started partying regularly. I think this masked the bad, negative feelings for a while. Then I found a binder under his bed. It was one of the scariest, heart wrenching days of my life. I really had no idea how really, really bad my baby was hurting inside himself. He was in such a dark place. His words were pained and his poetry, although very talented, was so sad, dark, tortured and even scary - he wanted to die! And so did I when I read his “black binder”. My happy, talented, caring, cuddly little boy was disappearing before my eyes. You feel so helpless.

We took Andrew to see a youth councilor and our family physician put him on antidepressants and Andrew pretended to be fine, but he wasn’t. He had worked in the restaurant/hospitality industry since he had been 16 and had worked at number of restaurants. He seemed to be happiest or most fulfilled when he was working. I guess he didn’t have time to think so much then. He was probably at his happiest at the Olive Garden on Regent, but decided he wanted to go into management. He always felt as if he had been a failure because, at the ripe old age of 23 he had not made something of himself yet! He had not made his mark on the world.

He had gone through a couple of different management opportunities that had not worked out too well and was off work for about a month. I was really concerned at that time, but we talked about it and he assured me that he was fine and would never do anything to harm himself.

There had been some events at home that he had been through that had hurt him deeply, that he had shared with his close friends and me. I had hoped that in time he would be able to get over the hurt, but according to friends, apparently not. He just decided to not talk about it anymore.

Andrew did get another management training opportunity and he seemed to be happier. I thought and hoped that maybe the worst had finally passed, I was wrong.

On December 11th at around 8:00 p.m. he came to give me a kiss good-bye and told me he loved me, as he always did before saying good-bye, even on the phone. He informed me he wouldn’t be late because he had to work the next morning at 10:00 a.m. He had thrown in a load of laundry, put one in the dryer and had one sitting on top of the washer, yet to do. He had also left his bedroom light on, as well as his heater so that his room would be nice and warm when he came home and then he left.

December 12th was a very foggy morning and when I saw under Andrew’s bedroom door, that his light was still on, I thought he must not have come home; after all he was 23 and an adult able to make his own choices without mom’s permission!!

When I got out to the garage to leave for work (I work as a Mental Health Support Workerm, somewhat ironic) I saw that his car was there and that didn’t make sense, but again I thought there must be some logical explanation. I did phone him from my cell though, to let him know that the deck was icy, the roads were slippery and visibility was not good and then wished him a good day and again, “love you, mom”.

When I got home later that day, his car was still there in the garage. My first concern was, “Oh no, not another job opportunity fallen through”. But yet he was still not in the house either. Something was definitely not right. I phoned and left 2 more messages on his cell and asked him to, “Please just call me to let me know you’re ok”.

I finally went outside to the garage at around 8:40 p.m. December 12th, 2006 to check over his car to see if I could find any clues as to what was wrong. I was terrified of what I might find by now, because I now felt something was definitely not right. This was the night that changed my life forever. The image burnt into my eyelids every time I close my eyes and will be in my brain for the rest of my life. How could I have not felt it in my soul? My baby had taken his own life. I found him on the cold cement floor hidden somewhat by laying half under the work bench with my extension cord that I had given him a couple of weeks earlier to plug his car in at work, wrapped twice around his neck. He was blue, as was my extension. Thank goodness it had broken, but this image, as well as, hearing my own voice screaming, “No, No, No, Andrew, No” will never leave me again.

Normal will never be normal again either. Half of me is gone forever. Robert lost his only sibling that night and I know in my heart that if time had healed Andrew that he and Robert would have one day again been as close as they once were when they were young. This absolutely breaks my heart.

Robert has chosen a field in Child & Youth Services to try to help troubled teens. He has the education, now about to graduate from Red River Community College, but his biggest asset will be his experiences at home and seeing first hand the warning signs and witnessing the complete devastation Mental Illness and especially Depression can have on a family.

So here we are, and now with her help plus holding me up, my new dear friend Brenda, her daughter Lindsay, and Robert and I have decided we must try to help other depressed people, young and old from feeling that this so final choice is not their only way to stop the pain.

The 1st Andrew Dunn Memorial…Walking out of the shadows, will be held on Mother’s Day, May 13th, 2007. Three days after Andrew’s 24th Birthday.

As well, we are working on completing the work to finalize the Andrew Dunn Foundation. If you can help by donating your time, expertise in an area of running a foundation or monetarily, please contact us.

Also, please share your personal experiences and memories that you had with Andrew. And last, but by no means least, thank you to all my new adopted kids who have become so close to me through this tragedy, both Andrew and Robert’s friends and even those I had never met before from the Olive Garden. There’s no such thing as too much love!